Truth

“The gospel reveals the glory of God. According to God’s Word, he is the sovereign Creator of all things. He knows all things, sustains all things, and owns all things. He is holy above all. He is righteous in all his ways, just in all his wrath, and loving toward all he has made.

I wonder sometimes, though, if we intentionally or just unknowingly mask the beauty of God in the gospel by minimizing his various attributes. Peruse the Christian marketplace, and you will find a plethora of books, songs, and paintings that depict God as a loving Father. And he is that. But he is not just a loving Father, and limiting our understanding of God to this picture ultimately distorts the image of God we have in our culture.

Yes, God is a loving Father, but he is also a wrathful Judge. In his wrath he hates sin. Habakkuk prayed to God, ‘Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrong.’ And in some sense, God also hates sinners. You might ask, ‘What happened to God hates the sin and loves the sinner?’ Well, the Bible happened to it. One psalmist said to God, ‘The arrogant cannot stand in your presence; you hate all who do wrong.’ Fourteen times in the first fifty psalms we see similar descriptions of God’s hatred toward sinners, his wrath toward liars, and so on. In the chapter in the gospel of John where we find one of the most famous verses concerning God’s love, we also find one of the most neglected verses concerning God’s wrath.

The gospel reveals eternal realties about God that we would sometimes rather not face. We prefer to sit back, enjoy our clichés, and picture God as a Father who might help us, all the while ignoring God as a Judge who might damn us. Maybe this is why we fill our lives with the constant drivel of entertainment in out culture- and in the church. We are afraid that if we stop and really look at God in his Word, we might discover that he evokes greater awe and demands deeper worship than we are ready to give him.

But this is just the point. We are not ready to give him what he asks for, because our hearts are set against him. God’s revelation in the gospel not only reveals who he is, but it also reveals who we are.

…This is the reality about humanity. We are each born with an evil, God-hating heart. Genesis 8:21 says that every inclination of man’s heart is evil from childhood, and Jesus’ words in Luke 11:13 assume that we know we are evil. Many people say, ‘Well, I have always loved God,’ but the reality is, no one has. We may have loved a god that we made up in our minds, but the God of the Bible, we hate.

In our evil we rebel against God. We take the law of God, written in his Word and on our hearts, and we disobey it. This is the picture of the very first sin in Genesis 3. Even if God has said not to eat from the tree of knowledge, we are going to do it anyway.

We spurn our Creator’s authority over us. God beckons storm clouds, and they come. He tells the wind to blow and the rain to fall, and they obey immediately. He speaks to the mountains, ‘You go there,’ and he says to the seas, ‘You stop here,’ and they do it. Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator…until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, ‘No.’

Jesus told us that everyone who sins is a slave to sin… And because we are slaves to sin, we are blinded to God’s truth. Ephesians 4:18 says that we are darkened in our understanding and our hearts are like stone. According to 2 Corinthians 4:4, we can’t even see Christ because of the depth of our spiritual blindness.

The Bible describes us as enemies of God and objects of his wrath. We are spiritually dead and eternally separated from God. What’s worse is that we can do nothing to change our status before God. No one who is morally evil can choose good, no man who is a slave can set himself free, no woman who is blind can give herself sight, no one who is an object of wrath can appease that wrath, and no person who is dead can cause himself to come to life.

The gospel confronts us with the hopelessness of our sinful condition. But we don’t like what we see of ourselves in the gospel, so we shrink back from it. We live in a land of self-improvement. Certainly there are steps we can take to make ourselves better. So we modify what the gospel says about us.

We are not evil, we think, and certainly not spiritually dead. Haven’t you heard of the power of positive thinking? I can become a better me and experience my best life now. That’s why God is there- to make that happen. My life is not going right, but God loves me and has a plan to fix my life. I simply need to follow certain steps, think certain things, and check off certain boxes, and then I am good.

Both our diagnosis of the situation and our conclusion regarding the solution fit nicely in a culture that exalts self-sufficiency, self-esteem, and self-confidence. We already have a fairly high view of our morality, so when we add a superstitious prayer, a subsequent dose of church attendance, and obedience to some of the Bible, we feel pretty sure that we will be all right in the end.

Note the contrast, however, when you diagnose the problem biblically. The modern-day gospel says, ‘God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Therefore, follow these steps, and you can be saved.’ Meanwhile, the biblical gospel says, ‘You are an enemy of God, dead in your sin, and in your present state of rebellion, you are not even able to see that you need life, much less to cause yourself to come to life. Therefore, you are radically dependent on God to do something in your life that you could never do.’

The former sells books and draws crowds. The latter saves souls. Which is more important?

In the gospel God reveals the depth of our need for him. He shows us that there is absolutely nothing we can do to come to him. We can’t manufacture salvation. We can’t program it. We can’t produce it. We can’t even initiate it. God has to open our eyes, set us free, overcome our evil, and appease his wrath. He has to come to us.

Now we are getting the beauty of the gospel.

…As long as you and I understand salvation as checking off a box to get to God, we will find ourselves in the meaningless sea of world religions that actually condemn the human race by exalting our supposed ability to get to God. On the other hand, when you and I realize that we are morally evil, dead in sin, and deserving of God’s wrath with no way out on our own, we begin to discover our desperate need for Christ.

Our understanding of who God is and who we are drastically affects our understanding of who Christ is and why we need him. For example, if God is only a loving Father who wants to help his people, then we will see Christ as a mere example of that love. We will view the Cross as just a demonstration of God’s love in which he allowed Roman soldiers to crucify his Son so that sinful man would know how much he loves us.

But this picture of Christ and the Cross is woefully inadequate, missing the entire point of the gospel. We are not saved from our sins because Jesus was falsely tried by Jewish and Roman officials and sentenced by Pilate to die. Neither are we saved because Roman persecutors thrust nails into the hands and feet of Christ and hung him on a cross.

Do we really think that the false judgment of men heaped upon Christ would pay the debt for all humankind’s sin? Do we really think that a crown of thorns and whips and nails and a wooden cross and all the other facets of the crucifixion that we glamorize are powerful enough to save us?

Picture Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. As he kneels before his Father, drops of sweat and blood fall together from his head. Why is he in such agony and pain? The answer is not because he is afraid of crucifixion. He is not trembling because of what Roman soldiers are about to do to him.

…We can rest assured that he was not a coward about to face Roman soldiers. Instead he was a Savior about to endure divine wrath.

Listen to his words: ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.’ The ‘cup’ is not a reference to a wooden cross; it is a reference to divine judgment. It is the cup of God’s wrath.

This is what Jesus is recoiling from in the garden. All God’s holy wrath and hatred toward sin and sinners, stored up since the beginning of the world, is about to be poured out on him, and he is sweating blood at the thought of it.

What happened at the Cross was not primarily about nails being thrust into Jesus’ hands and feet but about the wrath due your sin and my sin being thrust upon his soul. In that holy moment, all the righteous wrath and justice of God due us came rushing down like a torrent on Christ himself. Some say, ‘God looked down and could not bear to see the suffering that the soldiers were inflicting on Jesus, so he turned away.’ But this is not true. God turned away because he could not bear to see your sin and my sin on his Son.

This is the gospel. The just and loving Creator of the universe has looked upon hopelessly sinful people and sent his Son, God in the flesh, to bear his wrath against sin on the cross and to show his power over sin in the Resurrection so that all who trust in him will be reconciled to God forever.

So how do we respond to this gospel? Suddenly contemporary Christianity sales pitches don’t seem adequate anymore. Ask Jesus to come into your heart. Invite Jesus to come into your life. Pray this prayer, sign this card, walk down this aisle, and accept Jesus as your personal Savior. Our attempt to reduce this gospel to shrink-wrapped presentation that persuades someone to say or pray the right things back to us no longer seems appropriate.

That is why none of these man-made catch phrases are in the Bible. You will not find a verse in Scripture where people are told to ‘bow your heads, close your eyes, and repeat after me.’ You will not find a place where a superstitious sinner’s prayer is even mentioned. And you will not find an emphasis on accepting Jesus. We have taken the infinitely glorious Son of God, who endured the infinitely terrible wrath of God and who now reigns as the infinitely worthy Lord of all, and we have reduced him to a poor, puny Savior who is just begging for us to accept him.

Accept him? Do we really think Jesus needs our acceptance? Don’t we need him?

I invite you to consider with me a proper response to this gospel. Surely more than praying a prayer is involved. Surely more than religious attendance is warranted. Surely this gospel evokes unconditional surrender of all that we are and all that we have to all that he is.

You and I desperately need to consider whether we have ever truly, authentically trusted in Christ for our salvation. In this light Jesus’ words at the end of the Sermon on the Mount are some of the most humbling in all Scripture.

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

Jesus was not speaking here to irreligious people, atheists, or agnostics. He was not speaking to pagans or heretics. He was speaking to devoutly religious people who were deluded into thinking they were on the narrow road that leads to heaven when they were actually on the broad road that leads to hell. According to Jesus, one day not just a few but many will be shocked- eternally shocked- to find that they were not in the kingdom of God after all.

The danger of spiritual deception is real…Scores of people who have positioned their lives on a religious road that makes grandiose promises at minimal cost. We have been told all that is required is a one-time decision, maybe even mere intellectual assent to Jesus, but after that we need not worry about his commands, his standards, or his glory. We have a ticket to heaven, and we can live however we want on earth. Our sin will be tolerated along the way. Much of modern evangelism today is built on leading people down this road, and crowds flock to it, but in the end it is a road built on sinking sand, and it risks disillusioning millions of souls.

Biblical proclamation of the gospel beckons us to a much different response and leads us down a much different road. Here the gospel demands and enables us to turn from our sin, to take up our cross, to die to ourselves, and to follow Jesus. These are the terms and phrases we see in the Bible. And salvation now consists of a deep wrestling in our souls with the sinfulness of our hearts, the depth of our depravity, and the desperation of our need for his grace. Jesus is no longer one to be accepted or invited in but one who is infinitely worthy of our immediate and total surrender.

You might think this sounds as though we have to earn our way to Jesus through radical obedience, but that is not the case at all. Indeed, ‘it is by grace you [are] saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.’ We are saved from our sins by a free gift of grace, something that only God can do in us and that we cannot manufacture ourselves.

But that gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time, we want God. We see our need for him, and we love him. We seek after him, and we find him, and we discover that he is indeed the great reward of our salvation. We realize that we are saved not just to be forgiven of our sins or to be assured of our eternity in heaven, but we are saved to know God. So we yearn for him. We want him so much that we abandon everything else to experience him. This is the only proper response to the revelation of God in the gospel.

This is why men and women around the world risk their lives to know more about him. This is why we must avoid cheap caricatures of Christianity that fail to exalt the revelation of God in his Word. This is why you and I cannot settle for anything less than a God-centered, Christ-exalting, self-denying gospel.”

-David Platt

Here and Now

I haven’t blogged lately. I’m not sure why exactly…

I have been unemployed for two months now. I also lost my housing. (No, I’m not homeless; I am staying with my parents at the moment.) At first I struggled a bit with these situations a little bit confused.

And then I don’t know what happened except God.

He drew me to Himself. Because those things happened I have spent countless hours with Him. I have been so hungry for time with Him even if I just spent time with Him. And because I lost my job, I have that free time with Him. It has been the most amazing thing ever. My heart changed. My desires have changed. He is my provision. He is my strength. He is all I want. I want to do what He wants me to do…whatever that may be… wherever that may be.  I am ready. I am willing.  Send me.

I have begun to pray in big ways. I don’t want to do something that I know I can do with my resources. I want to do something that can only be explained by God. Something where I will have to constantly rely on Him to provide. Something where I am found weak, and in that weakness God comes through in power for His glory. I want to do something that isn’t about me but about serving others. I want to do something that brings people to Christ. When my desires changed for these things I also realized this likely meant I would be leaving safe, familiar, and comfortable. I’m ready. I am willing. Send me.

Often I asked God what is your will for my life. Think about it… God doesn’t really work like that. What I see in scripture is God says, “Follow me”. This can be without clear directions. Without knowing where the destination is. Giving up everything. Which goes against everything we know about planning, being safe, etc. Walking in step with the Spirit, today, now, not years from now. And where we should be years from now is probably affected by walking in step with the Spirit now. I find myself in pursuit of Him.

I am excited about this journey.

Francis Chan’s “Forgotten God” is a great book. I highly recommend it. (As well as “Crazy Love”.) Jut needed to throw that out there. I’ll probably quote him often haha.

: /

Can’t seem to write.

Winter-Spring

I cannot believe that a whole month has already passed! A twelfth of 2012 has been lived, has passed, is gone, and is never to return. Time flies… I don’t know that I was even ready for the new year to begin in the first place and now I am deep into it. I’m ok with this, though.

I recently sat at my favorite bench at a local lake here in OKC after a light run. (Light because I am so out of shape; don’t laugh haha.) It was a beautiful day. The sun was beaming, gently kissing the earth. Those golden rays glistened across the moving water.  There was a light breeze brushing my face that also was nudging the lake water to wash over some rocks. Small birds free flying against the deep blue. It was…peaceful. I began thinking about my life. Where I was at the beginning of this year and where I stood (well, sat, haha) at the closure of the first month. A small smile formed on my face that I couldn’t help and that no one could see. I was in a good place. A place I wouldn’t change or trade for anything. If you knew my current situation and life you’d probably ask “why in the world would you not change what’s happening?” to which I say, I’m at peace. Everything that has happened to me in this short month could be terrifying, hurtful, worrisome and a lot of other negative things. And I admit, at some points they were, but when sitting on that bench at the close of January, I was and am content. My life is in the hands of a mighty God that loves and cares for me and is in control of all things. That… is peaceful. I don’t understand what’s happening or what is to come but rather than worrying, I am enjoying this time in my life. I read out of this “Experiencing God” devotional of mine some wonderful words that I want to share that express how I feel.

“Just as God planned seasons in nature, He planned seasons in life as well. Life has its springtime, when we begin new things and look excitedly toward the future. Summer comes and we work diligently in the heat of the day at all that God has assigned to us. With autumn comes the fruition of things begun at an earlier time in our lives. Winter brings an end to a particular period in our lives. Sometimes winter brings hardship, but we remain hopeful, for another spring is just around the corner! In God’s perfect design for our lives, He has planned for times of fruitfulness and activity. He will also build in times of quiet and rest. There will be times when He asks us to remain faithful doing the same work day after day. But there will also be periods of excitement and new beginnings. By God’s grace, we will enjoy seasons of harvesting the fruit of our faithfulness. By God’s grace, we will also overcome the cold winters of heartache and grief, for without winter there would be no spring.”

I love this passage. I am coming from winter into spring. Experiencing a time of quiet rest in hopes of fruitfulness and activity to come. Overcoming hardships and expecting new and exciting things in the future!  I am happy to be where I am. I also am incredibly blessed to have the people in my life that I have, you know who you are. Thank you for being there for me through these seasons. May I do the same for you.

So I wait… hopeful, expecting, overcoming, growing, excited of what is to come!

Omniscient One

“All this also comes from the LORD Almighty, whose plan is wonderful, whose wisdom is magnificent.” Isaiah 28:29 .The Lord knows everything, “this trait is commonly called ‘omniscience,’ from the Latin omnis (all) and scientia (knowledge).

The Lord has a perfect knowledge of all creation.

The Lord founded the earth and established the heavens by His wisdom and understanding (Prov. 3:19). He knows the balancing of the clouds, the weight of the wind, the measure of the waters, the number and names of the stars (Job 37:16; 28:25; Ps. 147:4). He made ‘a decree for the rain and a way for the lightening of the thunder’ (Job 28:26). ‘By his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew’ (Prov. 3:20). God has perfect knowledge of every tiny detail of the universe. He ‘looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens’ (Job 28:24). Not even the smallest sparrow can fall to the ground apart from His awareness (Matt. 10:29).

The Lord has a perfect knowledge of history.

God knows everything that has taken place and everything that will take place in history (Isa. 44:7; 48:5-8). He knows the past and the future. He ‘call[s] the generations from the beginning’ (Isa. 41:4), ‘declar[es] the end from the beginning,’ and knows from ancient times things not yet done’ (Isa. 46:10). His ‘eyes keep watch on the nations,’ ‘observ[ing] all their deeds’ (Ps. 66:7; 33:15). His wisdom is responsible for the changing of times and seasons, for the removing and setting up of kings and political systems (Den. 2:21). His counsel shall stand, and He will accomplish all His purposes (Isa. 46:10).

The Lord has a perfect knowledge of each individual.

The Lord has a perfect knowledge of the life of each individual from before conception to death. He knows, in detail, everything about you, like the number of hairs on your head (Matt. 10:30), when you sit down and stand up (Ps. 139:2), and your every need (Matt. 6:8). He knows your longings and your dreams, your disappointments, resentments, and heartaches (Ps. 38:9; Isa. 37:28). God is aware of your plans and thoughts (1 Chron. 28:9; Ps. 94:11) and the secrets of your heart (Ps. 44:21). Even before a word is on your tongue, He knows it (Ps. 139:4). Not one single thing happens in your life of which He is unaware (Prov. 5:21; 15:3). ‘For his eyes are on the ways of a man, and he sees all his steps’ (Job 34:21).

The Lord’s knowledge, wisdom, and understanding are perfect. His other names of character demonstrate that this is the case for all aspects of His personality. His love is perfect. His mercy is perfect. His grace is perfect. He is perfectly faithful and true. He is perfect in other character qualities, too- in patience, kindness, joyfulness, and generosity.”

I have grown up with this knowledge that God is omniscient… I just never deeply thought about it. It’s…awesome. What hits home is how God has a perfect knowledge of each person. He knows me better than I know me (wow). The number of hairs on your head, for EVERY person at the same time. And the number of hairs on your head is not even important. Every move I make, He knows. My every need, He knows. My longings, dreams, disappointments, resentments, heartaches, plans, thoughts, secrets… And He still loves me! How can I think He doesn’t care what I am going through? That He is not intimately involved in my life? Deeply moved…

All quotes/passages were taken from Mary Kassian’s “Knowing God by Name” and scripture and has nothing to do with me writing. haha

Risk

I have come to a conclusion. I think every person should do at least one crazy thing in their life at some point. Take a risk…go against the crowd… do something that you would not normally do. For some this may be jumping out of a perfectly good plane (with a parachute, haha), bungee jumping, taking a trip that you would not normally take, trying a unique food, or what have you. Don’t get me wrong, do not harm yourself, please. (haha) You have one life to live. Live it. Live it passionately and take a risk. To a lot of people this is probably a terrifying idea. I thrive on adventure. I love it. That’s all.

Play that beat!

I LOVE music!! I really do. I think music is  a surreptitious powerful force in people’s lives, including mine. It affects everyone! Who honestly doesn’t listen to music in some form? *cricket chirp* Ya, no one.

Music at times takes me back to specific moments in my life. I can recollect what was happening in my life with certain songs. This can be good and bad. I just experienced one of those specific moments and as soon as a song played, I was taken back… in a good way.

Music can arouse certain emotions as well and has become a strong connection in my life. The style of music can affect my mood and vice versa. Lately, I have felt tried, liberated, and close with God and playing Hillsong’s “God is Able” album has matched the mood dead on.

The large majority of music out there has two parts, instrumental and lyrical. Lyrics can be relatable to current life situations consequently becoming more meaningful. Lyrics can be convicting, funny, passionate, honest and so much  more. Instrumental, I think, is just as powerful as lyrics. The tune can set and encourage a mood.

I love new music. I don’t about you but I love hearing a new tune and a new way of saying something that’s exciting, fresh, and fun. I have the tendency to play, repeatedly, new material for some time before switching out. And then playing older material after some time of not listening can be almost new too!

I love music, have I said that yet? (haha) The creative part in me loves music. There are so many things to say and so many ways to play instrumentally that it is a creative field open to artists. The possibilities are endless. Now, I love writing but admittedly I have never written a song. I don’t know why… I just never have done it. Recently, an artist asked me to collaborate with him in doing a piece. I am stoked! Time for the creative juices (why is it creative juice, that sounds gross haha) to work.

So off I go to reminisce, enjoy life, and contemplate lyrics. To you I say, play that beat!

Is it winter?

Sometimes we all have to do things we really don’t want to do, they just have to be done. We suck it up and DO IT. I am doing that right now. I am sucking it up and doing it. Ya-no fun. It is currently 66 degrees outside and those golden rays are streaming through blinds into my office, dancing on my desk as if to tempt me. I am at work and yes, blogging not working (don’t judge me haha), when I would much rather be outside in this beautiful weather. *Pause to help someone.* Wow… that just happened. That’s another story. Back to beautiful weather and dancing rays. Perhaps sitting at the lake… or jogging at the lake… or just outside reading a book or some other fun activity rather than sitting behind a desk. *Sigh.* Sucking it up. How is it that it is this warm in January?? WHAT is going on? I don’t mind. 🙂 I love warm weather. I even predicted it would be a warm winter from the intense summer we had this past year. It’s just odd… this weather. Almost like a little gift to me to look at, haha. I almost feel like spring is a tad spoiled because I haven’t endured the cold to look forward to spring’s warmth. Maybe winter will actually come so I can look forward to spring and today’s beautifulness was a golden gift. Maybe… 🙂

2011.

2011 was the worst and hardest year of my life. Most of my life prior to this year has been happy and relatively easy. I grew up in a wonderful home with amazing parents and siblings who were great (for the most part haha). Not until I went through this difficult year did I realize what my family means to me… each member of my family and my family as a whole. I had expectations and hopes for this past year that failed miserably. Events that I thought would take place, did not… events that I never thought would happen, did. I never expected I would be where I am today. But in a way, I am grateful. I have closer relationships with family members. I am hopeful of what God is doing for the future. I now can relate more to people and can be more personable because of what I have gone through. I’m a little more of a real me with people, if that makes sense. Sometimes it is difficult to fight the urge to think “what if…” What if this happened? What if I had done this? What if I didn’t do that? I stop. I can’t and will not live in “What If Land”. It’s a terrible land that no one should go to live in, or even visit. This land takes you captive. I made the decisions I made and there is no turning back. A pastor recently said “It’s ok to look at the past, but don’t stare”. It’s fitting. I can and should look at the past to learn and grow but I will move on to live today, this moment, because it is what I have to make a difference. I am me, here, for a reason. Optimistic of what is to come. Hopeful. Healing. Growing. I hate goodbyes. But sometimes a goodbye can be the best thing for me. Sometimes a goodbye is the wise thing to do. So… goodbye 2011.

Finally…

I started this blog a few weeks ago but I haven’t really posted anything. Many times I have wanted to write but I couldn’t bring myself to look at this blinking bar that patiently waits for me to translate thoughts into a blog. Now I face it. Now I begin. Now I blog.

I named this blog “expose” I think largely because everyone that knows me seems to have this impression that I am a quiet, non-talkative, non-revealing kind of a person. I can be that person but I just as easily can not conform to that impression. Expose-to reveal, disclose, to make known. This blog is me, exposed, for whoever to see.

I am currently sitting at Barnes & Noble in a Starbucks cafe. People are chit-chatting about business and classes and others casually read and sip on hot beverages. There is a sweet caramel coffee aroma lingering in the air. I listen to Michael Buble’s Christmas album and wonder where should I start.

I think I will start with some basics about myself as it comes to mind.

My name is Christy. Jesus is my Savior and Lord (and I am eternally grateful). I am 24 and currently without a degree but planning on returning to school to finish. I am debating between getting a degree in mass communication with photography or psychology to be a counselor. I work as a leasing consultant for a nice apartment community. I love listening to people and helping people through giving advice. I love music, art-esp. photography, caramel lattes, and this time of year. I am a romantic type, and want to be swept off my feet. I believe fairy tales can happen. I have an affinity for singers/musicians. I love a good laugh, and a good book. I hate goodbyes and hurting anyone. I don’t trust people easily but can be open once I do trust someone. I have accomplished more than I thought I could or would. I also have failed miserably beyond what I thought I would do in my lifetime (and so far that’s not very long, yikes). I like a good challenge, an adventure, and am a risk-taker. I’m spontaneous and reserved. I love to travel and see new places, other cultures, and lifestyles (thanks to my parents for raising me partly overseas and giving me the opportunities I have had to go overseas). I love trying new foods and will try just about anything (not picky by any means). I make light of awkward conversations and situations. I have been hurt a lot but I move forward. I am strangely good at controlling my emotions/feelings for someone and can cut them off. I don’t hold grudges but do forgive all the time (I think it is the best). I hate fake apologies and meaningless words. I like people to be themselves. I am not afraid to admit my mistakes. I think I have the gift of discernment and try to use it as much as I can. I hate arriving at anything late but do it often. I am trustworthy and like vital confidential information. I am honest and hate lies. I try to see the best in everyone but my untrustingness (yes, it isn’t a word) lingers in my mind about someone. I love Italian food and if I cook my natural inclination is to cook pasta and delicious garlic bread. I prefer to bake over cooking. I tend to have bad social skills thus the quiet impression and awkwardness. I am compassionate and kind. I am quirky. Words do hurt me (depending on who it is coming from). I love romantic, adventure, and thinker movies and hate horror movies (refuse to watch). I love rain and thunderstorms. I am mature for my age. I like witty people and those who are wordsmiths. I love languages (know bits and pieces of many) and attempt to learn them. I like positive and honest affirmation and try to give it myself. I don’t like math/law but appreciate those who like these areas (I would not be an accountant, lawyer, or have any career that is heavily focused in these areas if I was begged to have one). I am creative and am inspired by other people’s creativity. I don’t like sitting behind a desk much; I prefer moving around. I don’t like improper use of English and it has become a pet peeve when I see/hear it. I love trying new and fun things. I like watching people and imagining what other peoples lives are like. I am fascinated with how small and large (at the same time, yes, mind boggling) this world is. I am good at shoving things to the back of my mind and handling things later if needed/desired. I don’t forget easily. I am skilled at memorizing information to recall within a relatively short amount of time (I think I have a photographic memory, somewhat). I believe first impressions are not as big of a deal as people make them to be. I love, love, love a good cinnamon roll (picky on these haha). I love sunsets, warm weather, and slightly cool weather (so I can sport scarves, which I also love). I believe the term “love” is overused (yes, I am guilty) and more so misinterpreted. I get cold easily. Did I mention I love music? Because I really do. And I apparently can write a lot (haha). I suppose this suffices as a glimpse of me. Enough for now. Expose.