I haven’t blogged lately. I’m not sure why exactly…
I have been unemployed for two months now. I also lost my housing. (No, I’m not homeless; I am staying with my parents at the moment.) At first I struggled a bit with these situations a little bit confused.
And then I don’t know what happened except God.
He drew me to Himself. Because those things happened I have spent countless hours with Him. I have been so hungry for time with Him even if I just spent time with Him. And because I lost my job, I have that free time with Him. It has been the most amazing thing ever. My heart changed. My desires have changed. He is my provision. He is my strength. He is all I want. I want to do what He wants me to do…whatever that may be… wherever that may be. I am ready. I am willing. Send me.
I have begun to pray in big ways. I don’t want to do something that I know I can do with my resources. I want to do something that can only be explained by God. Something where I will have to constantly rely on Him to provide. Something where I am found weak, and in that weakness God comes through in power for His glory. I want to do something that isn’t about me but about serving others. I want to do something that brings people to Christ. When my desires changed for these things I also realized this likely meant I would be leaving safe, familiar, and comfortable. I’m ready. I am willing. Send me.
Often I asked God what is your will for my life. Think about it… God doesn’t really work like that. What I see in scripture is God says, “Follow me”. This can be without clear directions. Without knowing where the destination is. Giving up everything. Which goes against everything we know about planning, being safe, etc. Walking in step with the Spirit, today, now, not years from now. And where we should be years from now is probably affected by walking in step with the Spirit now. I find myself in pursuit of Him.
I am excited about this journey.
Francis Chan’s “Forgotten God” is a great book. I highly recommend it. (As well as “Crazy Love”.) Jut needed to throw that out there. I’ll probably quote him often haha.
expose. 